Results from May 23rd’s Balance Team Challenge

“The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?”

If you’re a movie buff like me, then you’ll undoubtedly recognize the above quote from Bruce Willis, as Harry Stamper, in the movie Armageddon. Faced with the overwhelming task of saving the world, humanity, and every other living organism on this blue sphere we call home, Willis recites this line and instantly turns the drama-meter up to eleven!

Able to sense great fear in his team, Willis knew he needed them alert and focused to be able to complete his mission. They could not fail. Do or do not, there is no try. And so he delivered this gut-check in hopes that he could rally the troops just long enough to save us all.

There is no way you could possibly fail after delivering a line that promising.

I’d like to think Willis’ message was what was running through IamSTEVEHOLT’s mind as he prepared for the gauntlet playing you, the community, in multiple PvP matches streamed live from our account. (Didn't catch it live? Click here to watch it all its glory).

What does he possibly have to worry about? He’s on our Play Balance Team. He knows this game in and out. He commands the control of units easier than 99% of the player base! Even with all this support, feeling the pressure of the community can make any man crumble. And crumble he did…


Call it jitters, nervousness, pressure, or rust, IamSTEVEHOLT came out of the gates on Wednesday’s challenge a bit “weaker” than the Age of Empires Online team would have liked, quickly dropping the first two games to GiveUAnxiety & iSparky XzamqLe. The chat box was ablaze with defiant cries from the 3,500 unique viewers who tuned in to watch, exclaiming that this debacle on the virtual battlefield needed to end, and that IamSTEVEHOLT should be replaced by IamMRMILO.

Not to be deterred by the sharp tongues of you, the community, and the threat of a Prime Rib dinner at his expense, IamSTEVEHOLT shook off the defeats, grabbed a Mexican Coke from the GPG fridge, and declared in one booming bellow, “I will not go quietly into the night! I will not vanish without a fight! I am going to live on! I am going to be strong!”

Enter the Wonder.


And so the legend goes, one by one his enemies fell before him, collapsing under the ever-surmounting force of IamSTEVEHOLT’s wrath. He would not lose again, and demolished the next 6 foes he faced. None the less, we love the participation by you all, so a big round of applause to those of you who attempted to throw stones at a giant:








After the dust from the battles settled, our brave hero stood atop a virtual mountain of Peltasts and Spearmen, victorious in his righteous effort to bring all of us a great time. Seriously, if we could have shown a video of the interior of our office, you would have seen producers, engineers, managers, and moderators alike all huddled around their computers, gazing upon the screen, with grins so wide you could park a mid-sized sedan in our mouths. We hopped in to the chat when we could and answered questions as we saw them, handed out a few prizes, and like the rest of you, enjoyed the show.

This event was great for us all, and we truly cannot wait to bring you more of the same.

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