Smug alert! Twinkle is back, controlling the keyboard, and ready to assault your eyes with a barrage of words, yet again. It has been a week since we last spoke, and I’m sure some of you wish the time apart lasts a little longer. Unfortunately that is not the case, and I, once again, am the bearer of bad news.
Well, actually I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first? I, personally, am a sort of dessert first kind of man, so I will go ahead and give you the good stuff first:
Now that I have effectively bought your love back, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.
IamSTEVEHOLT made his return to the virtual battlefield of the twitch.tv stream today, and with him brought a sense of urgency. If you happen to recall, he was the host of our first Balance Challenge, but had to first shake off a ferocious group of jitters before finally getting his act together and performing like a member of the Balance Team should. This week he came out of the gates firing on all cylinders, and made quick work of most of his opponents.
The only reason I say most is because his first match of the day would prove to be the most difficult. Orktastic was back in the mix, looking to keep his shiny new “Challenge Victor” tag he earned a few weeks ago. There is no doubting that Ork is a formidable foe, but unfortunately for him was not his day.
The match started out like any other, but eventually leading to IamSTEVEHOLT laying waste to most of Ork’s units, but not before Ork was able to get a Fortress up to negate the attack. Driven back, many thought that IamSTEVEHOLT may be vulnerable to an attack by Ork, but this late in the game, Steve’s economy was just too far ahead for Ork to battle against, and Steve finally finished what he started mere minutes later.
This was a start. Again, last time IamSTEVEHOLT came out to play, he dropped two quickly. There would be no mercy now that he had confidence on his side.
The next challenge took an unsuspecting player, leavingfob0, on a wild ride. It was probably the most incredible 10 minutes of his life, but in the end I’m sure he was thinking too himself, “goodness that was entirely too fast.” It’s ok, buddy. We’ve all been there. You’re not the only one.
Riding the wave of current success, IamSTEVEHOLT took on yet another premature escape-artist, iamnotgrunt. We were very happy to have him grace us with his presence yet again, although I’m sure this was more of a personal vendetta than anything, since he currently is sporting one of our fashionable “Challenge Victim” tags. I’m guessing the tone of the rest of this blog is somewhat indicative of what happened to iamnotgrunt. If not, I’ll spell it out simply. He lost and the Victim tag stands!
After the quick discharge of the aforementioned players, ii MiLhouS3 ii took the stage. Well, what do you want me to say? 10 minutes in and he lost control, just like the others.
It was at this point that IamSTEVEHOLT retired for the day. I’m sure he was thinking to himself, “was that it? 10 minutes a round is NOT enough.” His time was up and he relinquished control of the stream to Kednik.
The first challenger to face off with Kednik was iSparky XzamqLe. He is no stranger to these Balance Challenges, and it was a good first match for Kednik. Well, at least I thought it would be. iSparky XzamqLe would be overrun by Kednik’s forces in about 15 minutes time. That’s definitely not as bad as 10 minutes, and some would say such an effort is respectable, but we strive for greatness around here!
Mirror, mirror on the wall – who is the fastest one of all? There was a ruffle-duffle, and 7 minutes later. The mirror said, “Azadazzu is, there is no one greater.” See what I did there? Lyrical genius aside, I just want to point out that this throw-down didn’t even make it to the double-digit timestamp. How can I even begin to describe something that fast in a positive manner?! Well, it was a valiant effort none-the-less.
The final match of the day pitted Kednik against Wilier Poem. Different name, but the results stay the same. (Look, another rhyme)! Kednik pulled off a clean sweep just like his brethren before him.
The Balance Team took home a 7-0 record today, boosting their total record to 28-6. I really do root for you, Community, as it is more fun to poke and prod at the wounds of the Balance Team than to constantly have to remind you of the spanking you just received. It really does hurt me more than it hurts you. Maybe one of these times I will have to up the prize scale, but in order to do that, I need you to up your game.
We will see you all next time! Thank you so much for coming out to play and stream this event with us. Normally I am out of breath and unable to move after the intensity of some of these events, but 10 minutes…10 minutes just isn’t even enough to break a sweat. Next time, Community. Until then, you stay classy. And thanks for stopping by…
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